I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money; my informed choice, my measured gamble.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.

There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.