Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.

I think when you take off that jacket and they see that ‘I LOVE GRANDMA’ T-shirt, they’re going to rip your heart out.

I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.

Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.