When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

The thing about breaking up when you get older, you just don't have the steam anymore. "Oh, that's it. I can't start shaving my legs above the knee again."

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'

We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.