I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full.

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.

As for being a voice in politics, I feel whether you are famous or not, busy or not, it's incumbent upon every citizen to participate in this government in any way we can.

You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies.

San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.