San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.

I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?

I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.'

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'

As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.

My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.