I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.

I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?

I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.