What do hookers do on their nights off, type?

The message of great art is to disturb.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.