What do hookers do on their nights off, type?

I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself throughout my life, without the limitations on intellectual curiosity a formal education can impose. I followed what interested me.

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.

I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.

For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.