The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.

For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.

I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.'

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.

I'd much rather see Richard Pryor or Jackie Mason in a theater than in a club.

Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.