Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except maybe 'senator.

I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.

Horse racing is waning in popularity.

Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could see callers' breath coming out of my phone.

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.

We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.