There's only one difference between Jews and Catholics. Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.

Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.

Horse racing is waning in popularity.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.