When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star.

I've never been able to write for stand-up.

I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself throughout my life, without the limitations on intellectual curiosity a formal education can impose. I followed what interested me.

I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.

Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.