I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.

When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.