Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.

Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - all were imploded.

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other.

Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.