Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - all were imploded.

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.

Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.

I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other.

Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.

Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except maybe 'senator.

I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?