You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies.

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except maybe 'senator.

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.

We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?