It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.

I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.

I've never been able to write for stand-up.