It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

I'd much rather see Richard Pryor or Jackie Mason in a theater than in a club.

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.

As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.