People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.

I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?

I've never been able to write for stand-up.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.