There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.

I just get the feeling that if Jesse Helms was in charge of art in America, you'd go into a museum and see nothing but prints of dogs playing cards.

We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.