There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.

San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.

Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.