There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.

I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.

Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could see callers' breath coming out of my phone.

Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.

I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself throughout my life, without the limitations on intellectual curiosity a formal education can impose. I followed what interested me.

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.