When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.

Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.

Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.