I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.

I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.

I love being down at Occupy Wall Street. The sincerity, the youth involvement, the desire for better, is palpable and moving. There is true caring, sharing, and refreshingly naïve hope.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.