Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.

The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.

I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.

When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage.

I was walking down the street. something caught my eye, and dragged it fifteen feet.

Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.