Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.
Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.
Cell phones are like a dog's nipples... you don't have to shout into them!
The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow.
You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.
England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.