England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.

When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!

Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.

Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.

Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Like, this time, it's on December 25th.

If an asteroid is coming toward you, you don't have to blow it up. You just have to slow it down long enough for our country to rotate out of the way.

Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.