England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.

I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment.

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat.

My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this game on TV, and I said, Hang on, how come their catcher doesn't have his hands tied to his ankles?

People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.