England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn't be home until a certain hour.

A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.

Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

Writing jokes for others is like having babies for someone else. It's sad. Like the woman who gives up her baby but needs to be close so she secretly becomes the maid in the household.