I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.

They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.

They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.

When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage.

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.