I'm from Downer's Grove, Illinois. We had a blackout there the other day, but fortunately the police made him get back into his car before he got too far.
Emo PhilipsPeople always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.
Emo PhilipsThere's a joke in everything, the trick is finding it. The best compliment a joke can get is what Huxley said about Darwin's theory of evolution - 'Why didn't I think of that?'
Emo PhilipsProbably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.
Emo Philips