Because we allow handguns. When you know someone in the crowd might be packing a rod, it can't help but rush your timing.

The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

I pray a simple prayer every morning. It's an ecumenical prayer. Whether you're Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu, I think it speaks to the heart of every faith. It goes “Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.”

I learned about sex the hard way... from books.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.