Because we allow handguns. When you know someone in the crowd might be packing a rod, it can't help but rush your timing.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?