Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, Why limit yourselves?

I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"

My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this game on TV, and I said, Hang on, how come their catcher doesn't have his hands tied to his ankles?

I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.

I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.