Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.

I find you can often find humor just by turning something upside-down. Like a... small child.

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference.

Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?

When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!

It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.

Well! I feel happy these days. I've started taking a herbal anti-depressant. It's called Saint John's Wort. Apparently it's the best-selling anti-depressant in many places. It's the most popular anti-depressant in Germany... After, I'm guessing, amnesia.