I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.
Emo PhilipsI was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
Emo PhilipsI read that nine out of 10 women fantasize about having an unknown man leap through their bedroom window at night and make mad, passionate love to them. Who would think with those odds, I would now be facing 150 hours of community service.
Emo Philips