I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.
Emo PhilipsWhen I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!
Emo PhilipsEveryone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18, I thought, 'I'll become a comedian, and then if everyone laughs at me, I'll be famous.' So I went on stage one night and, for the first time in my life, everyone stopped laughing at me.
Emo Philips