I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.

Isn't this a wonderful country? I was in Florida. I'm staying at a motel called the Three Palms. It's run by a middle-aged couple, one of whom is missing a hand. OK! That's what I thought, too! But they got upset when I asked.

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.