I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.