Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman's life she can help God work a miracle.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.

All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.

Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience.