I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!" was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.

Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.