Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.

A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.