Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

When humor go's, there go's civilization.

Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.