Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.

There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you.

I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her "before" picture.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.