A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.

There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!

I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.