If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.

The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop?

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

When humor go's, there go's civilization.