To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.

There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.