Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most overrated events in the world.

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.

Myths that need clarification: "Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach." False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.

Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.

Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.

Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.