One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.

I used everything you gave me.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth. I feel sorry for the men, too.

The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.