One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.

I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash . . . you add a longer tail . . . you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.

Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want tAdenauer to want the job.

I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!" was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.