The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. ... I would have cried and laughed less while watching television ... and more while watching real life. ... But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it ... look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give the minute back until there was nothing left of it.

When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.