Most mothers entering the labor market outside the home are naive. They stagger home each evening, holding mail in their teeth, the cleaning over their arm, a lamb chop defrosting under each armpit, balancing two gallons of frozen milk between their knees, and expect one of the kids to get the door.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.

For some unexplained reason, it's always the other end of the table that's wild and raucous, with screaming laughter and a fella who plays 'Holiday for Strings' on water glasses.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.