Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.

There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's treading water.

It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.