It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style.
Erma BombeckWhen it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma BombeckMy mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a daughter who refuses to launder aluminium foil and use it over again.
Erma BombeckWhat does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?
Erma BombeckThere's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma BombeckMothers are not the nameless, faceless stereotypes who appear once a year on a greeting card with their virtues set to prose, but women who have been dealt a hand for life and play each card one at a time the best way they know how. No mother is all good or all bad, all laughing or all serious, all loving or all angry. Ambivalence rushes through their veins.
Erma Bombeck