Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.

Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.