Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.

The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence.