Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body.

I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of those little suckers that were placed strategically around the house so a cry could be silenced in less than thirty seconds. Even though bottles were boiled, rooms disinfected, and germs fought one on one, no one seemed to care where the pacifier had been.

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.

Housework can kill you if done right.

Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.