I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.

I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit.

Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.

My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.