As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.