As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Laugh now, cry later.

It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.