A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
Erma BombeckThere is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
Erma BombeckPeople usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
Erma BombeckTo say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.
Erma BombeckHe opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them.
Erma Bombeck