I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.