Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?