When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them.

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.