I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.

We even switched to a newly-formed church across the town that gave one hundred and twenty trading stamps each time we attended. (We now worship a brown and white chicken with a sunburst on its chest.)

With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.

[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.

Every puppy should have a boy.