I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.

It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.

Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.

With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.

Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's treading water.