What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

Housework can kill you if done right.

I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.