What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.

Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.

Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most overrated events in the world.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!