My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

A child needs your love most when he deserves it least

My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.