My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

Authorities say brain cells may shrink, but they don't necessarily die. Frankly, I am cheered by the fact that something is shrinking. I'd be even more thrilled if what was shrinking affected my dress size, but you can't have everything.

If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?