My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.

Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to you.

Myths that need clarification: "Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach." False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want tAdenauer to want the job.